My morning meditations are simply online thoughts for the day. Sometimes they are personal, and at other times they are thoughts from someone who has inspired me. Please contact me if you want to be informed when I write a new meditation, or if you want to suggest ideas for future meditations.
"Right Action" as a matter of course
As many of my readers know, I am a bit of a yoga bunny. Having recently read the book How Yoga Works, by Michael Roach and Christie McNally, I am very interested in the concept of how one good (or bad) deed can embed itself in us, and lead us on a path of being more authentic and content, or less, depending on the type of "seed" that we plant in our minds as a result of our action. Seeds can be either good or bad, and grow according to the actions that we take. My philosophy is to always (try to) live my life according to a good motivation, or "right action". Right action is hard work - especially if we decide to apply the goal in every moment. But if we take up right action as a matter of course, we encourage perseverance of mind and create a series of interconnected right actions that will lead to a much happier life. Right action will lead to the best outcome for ourselves, and for others. If we act in a kind manner, and live our passion sweetly, rather than avoiding the hard stuff, we will achieve much more than if we envy others and long for what we don't have. That will lead us nowhere. Today I randomly opened my book Meditations from the Mat (by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison), to Day 29. It talks about right action, and says that each right action infuses us with the energy and ability to take the next right action. This fits perfectly with my claim from Monday's blog, that had I been mindful in the first instance, when I was trying to deal with the dog's business, I would have had a more mindful approach to the rest of the walk. The quote from the book from Day 29 is one I like very much. Those forms of concentration which result in extraordinary perceptions encourage perseverance of mind. Yoga Sutras.» read more
Keep your shit together
Yesterday I took my two rather large dogs and my son's Great Dane cross, Marvin, to the dog beach. The three dogs were playing near a family, and I was concerned they were being a bother, so I spontaneously called them and ran along the beach in the opposite direction. I left the leashes and the poo bags with my belongings - so it was just the dogs, and me, in my bathers and sunglasses, with a ball thrower and a tennis ball. We were enjoying the morning. The sea was sparkling and the waves were gorgeous. I threw the ball for the dogs, and they swam to retrieve it, competing with each other to bring it back to me. Then Marvin decided to do his business on the wet sand, near the water. I felt embarrassed as I didn't have the poo bags with me. I used the ball thrower to push the mess into the water. I imagined that the nearby swimmers could have been upset at what I was doing. My mindfulness left me as I hurriedly pushed the muck into the ocean. We went on our way, with me enjoying the walk a little less as I questioned my behaviour. On the way back, in almost exactly the same place, I threw the ball a little too far out for Sammy and as he was swimming to retrieve it, I saw a rather large wave coming. I quickly dived in, grabbed him and we got dumped together, but I hoped he felt safer in my arms. However, once we were on the beach after the dramatic rescue, I realised my favourite prescription sunglasses were missing. I've had them for years, and was very sad that I had lost them. I believe that the day would have been different had I stayed mindful with the poo incident. I could have been more centred and gracious. I could have asked if anyone had a bag, or buried the mess in the sand, or even scooped it into the water in a more mindful way. I would have then stayed more focussed for the rest of the walk. I believe had I stayed mindful, the next incident would not have occurred. I would have kept my focus and perhaps remembered that I was wearing the sunglasses, or been a little more mindful in the way I helped my dog. One bad "seed" leads to another, and next time I will keep my shit together.» read more
Let your mind go .. and love where you are
The meditation I read today in my special book Meditations from the Mat (see my book of the month) was based on Jackie Chan's quote: "Do everything with a mind that has let go". This is a perfect quote for me right now, as I have had some discussions with people over the weekend about acceptance. I have friends who are angry and frustrated about being stuck in places they do not want to be (or at times would like to be but feel they must return to work) due to the Qantas grounding. I empathise with people who really needed to be somewhere - for a funeral, or due to illness, or family issues. But how important is it that we are in a particular place at a particular time? I am a stickler for punctuality, especially in my work. I do not like to let people down. However, sometimes we can get caught up in the importance of who we are, what we have and what we don't have. Perhaps it would be best to just love our lives, in the moment, no matter what our expectations are. It is so easy to say enjoy the flow, but more difficult to accept the truth in this when something comes up that is outside of our control. I could spend a lot of my time longing for what I do not have (a seat on a plane, or more of something, or less of something else) but I know I would be much happier if I simply loved what I have. Some people become manic trying to prove to themselves (and to others) that they are OK, when they really need to just know that actually, they are OK. So today's thought is - be where you are, and love it. No matter where it is. Have a wonderful day. x» read more
Be great - in moderation
I didn't go to yoga today because my body said no. Usually, my early morning yoga class gives me a wonderful start to the day. But after nine days of intensive Hakomi training - where I was a tutor - I felt that I just wanted to stay home, brush my dogs, make my breakfast and slowly make my way to work. I gave myself permission to do this, as part of my awareness to apply Bramacharya to my life. Bramacharya is the fourth of five yamas or recommendations in yoga that help us to live our lives in deeper consciousness. The modern interpretation of Bramacharya encourages us to live in moderation - but not in a lazy way. If we moderate ourselves, and pull back from our thoughts, our shoulds, our wants and our desires, we will live better lives. However, within moderation, it is important to do our best. If it's moderation in a yoga posture, where we do not stretch to our full extent, it is important to hold the asana we choose as well as we can. If I do not attend a regular yoga class, I can still respect myself enough to use the morning in a great way, enjoying every second of the activities I have chosen, rather than feeling bad for not going to yoga. Today, simply notice how you choose your daily activities, and how you go about them with care and grace - in moderation. Notice the impact this might have on how you choose to eat, or drink, or speak, or work. Relish the opportunity to take good care of yourself.» read more
Live the life you love
Today's blog is a reflection on life as it should be lived - with integrity, passion and trust. I'm sure there are many other words I could come up with if I tried, but having just read an article by Steve Jobs I feel that we need to trust the unfolding of life. As Steve says: "…. you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." I have recently told a group of my colleagues, and many of my clients, that my current promise to myself - and a suggestion for others, is that if I am not having fun, I need to stop. Even when I am doing the most precious and tender therapy with my much-honoured and courageous clients, if I suddenly find I am not enjoying it, I should take time out, step back, and discover why I am not engaged with my heart. I have seen TEE (or whatever that big November examination is called now) students and their parents grow very unhappy as the date of the exams looms. But hey, we are all naturally talented. We can all do well, if we are truly happy and committed to doing our best. It's hard to do our best if we are asked to participate in something that doesn't suit our skills. It takes time and independence and respect for us to find out who we really are, and what we want.» read more
Never too old ... or too cold!
My August book review is on How Yoga Works - which helps us to understand how to heal ourselves and others using the ancient tome, The Yoga Sutra. As most of you know, I have been an aficionado of yoga for many years (even though I feel I practice in a very basic way). Yesterday I came across an inspirational website, put together by retired psychiatrist Michael Clarke and his wife Dorothy (who took the beautiful photographs). They live in Denmark in the south west of WA. Michael took up yoga 10 years ago when his health was beginning to decline a little and he was developing restless legs syndrome. After Michael attempted to remedy his problems using a traditional medical approach, his masseur introduced him to yoga. He diligently practised every day till now, 10 years later, he enjoys yoga at a very deep and rich level - and has no health problems. From what I understand, he still drinks wine and eats chocolate each day, but can stretch and bend in a way that people half his age would find formidable. Michael practices yoga at 6am daily for one hour outside on his screened front verandah, unless the temperature is below 6 degrees. At that point, he decides it's probably best to practice indoors. I mention this to challenge my clients (you know who you are:) who tell me it's too cold to exercise on winter mornings.» read more
Free meditations
For a long time I have been trying to work out how I can offer clients my meditations online and now I hope I have found a way for you to listen to my relaxation cds for free. If you are interested, please go to Jenniferonline Meditations. I'd be very happy to hear how the meditations work for you. Letting Go should help you to relax, and Homecoming is a little more challenging. It will take you back to your childhood.» read more
Buddies can help
Self-discipline is a wonderful thing, and in the past I have swum at 6 am, attended yoga classes two evenings each week and early on Saturday mornings, and walked with friends. However, if I am not in some way connected with a class or a group (or being pushed by my dogs), it’s easy to find a good excuse to stay at home. Perhaps the problem is that I don’t want to let others down, or perhaps I am needier than I think. But I often enjoy myself more, and can accomplish more, when I am with another person. Last Monday was an excellent example of the power of having a buddy to help with motivation. I meet a colleague each Monday to swim. Rain, hail or shine, we have agreed to take time out from work to do some walking and swimming in the local pool. Last Monday’s maximum temperature was 11.6C, which occurred while my friend and I were in the heated (but still rather cold) pool, walking and talking. She knew the torture ahead, as she’d spotted a sign announcing that the hot water system wasn't working and cold showers were the only option. We returned to work feeling very virtuous.» read more
Cancel that (negative) thought
If you'd like to read more about negative thinking and related health issues, I am supporting my friend and her daughter at a website called mumsnothavingchemo.com ..................I have recently been asked about how to manage negative thoughts. The request has come at a good time, as I am overhauling the way I help myself and others with thoughts that lead to unwanted feelings. Many researchers and writers are examining how positive thoughts and affirmations can rewire the brain. The research is showing how changes in thoughts can change your mental and physical health. At University, I was taught Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, where negative thoughts are identified. We then explore how the thoughts create physiological, behavioral and emotional consequences. The unhelpful thoughts are disputed and new rational thoughts are encouraged, that will lead to more palatable feelings. However, once trust is established, a more simple approach can be introduced. It takes a long time to help clients who have long term and significant trauma issues to arrive at a point where they can embrace this method, but it can help. Most of us in the Western world have brains that are hard-wired to wallow in criticism of ourselves or others. Why, when and where this tendency began is another story, but our negative thinking habits don’t help us. We need to catch ourselves out and recognise a negative thought for what it is. This takes a great deal of discipline, especially at first, as our negative tendencies are very habitual. Once a thought that is causing uncomfortable feelings is recognised, cancel it, and replace it with a more peaceful approach. My daughter helped me with this earlier today. She was in Melbourne and we were speaking on the telephone. I complained (for others in my house to hear) that I was cold and the fire hadn’t been lit. “Mum! You could say that you really appreciate the way the fire is lit every day, and that you are very grateful that it will soon be lit, as it is a cold day and you love the warmth and ambiance that comes with an open fire.” That sounded much better to me, and now I am very grateful to be sitting near a warm fire, sipping my green tea:)» read more
Mum's not having chemo dot com
Last Friday I ran into a delightful old (but young) friend of mine, looking as gorgeous as ever in a distinctive purple headband, pushing a shopping trolley along a busy Claremont street. We stopped and talked for a while and I gained increasing respect for this brave and feisty woman. She told me she had recently been diagnosed with ovarian and uterine cancer and was forced to have immediate and major surgery, which has caused some nerve damage. But just three months later here she was, in recovery, sounding very clear about what she felt had led to the cancer and how she was planning to treat it. She was very grateful to those around her who were loving her and supporting her through this ordeal. She was a little regretful that she'd had surgery before being able to think it through properly (though I was pleased to hear that the cancer had been successfully removed from her body). She'd led a very healthy lifestyle (I know because I used to attend her yoga studio). She is in a loving relationship with a younger man, has an unusually supportive and close relationship with her ex-husband, and a great relationship with her kids. She subscribes to my idea that you do not need to live with a partner in order to be close to him or her, and that freedom is a path to love, just as love is a path to freedom (more on that in tomorrow's blog). We had a long chat till I realised we were standing in a pre-storm wind tunnel and felt perhaps we should move on. My friend's adult daughter wrote to me today about a new blog which will follow her mother's recovery. I feel a little teary as I write this, because I feel the love in the blog, called mum's not having chemo. I know that my friend and her journey will be a test case in cure and I am here to support in any way I can. The blog is at http://www.mumsnothavingchemo.com/ and is absolutely fascinating.» read more
The path to freedom
One of the best things I did on the weekend was go to yoga early on Saturday morning. My yoga teacher introduced the session by talking about freedom, and said the yoga approach to freedom was to be calm, clear and non-reactive in all situations. He said that how we responded to poses on the mat would be similar to our responses to situations in the world. If we felt a pose was too hard for us, it would be. If we approached a pose with grace, it would flow. It does not matter how difficult a situation is, we need to do the best we can. My daughter has been in a difficult situation recently, where she decided to leave her partner. I suggested to her that she approach this difficult time in the strongest way she could, be the best person she could be, and attempt to learn the most she could in every step of the process. I was very proud of how she managed herself. She stayed mindful, did not avoid the difficult parts of the situation, and left with grace, dignity and love. She respected those involved and received respect in return. Of course, the situation may change, but I encouraged her to change with it, always staying with her heart. Similarly on the yoga mat, address each pose with strength and courage, and do the best you can in every detail of the pose.» read more
Love what you choose to do
Apologies for the late appearance of today’s morning meditation, which today is a lunchtime meditation :) but I am taking it easy. Nine family members came to my home for dinner last night, and tonight I am organising a farewell party for a staff member. I could choose to stress about managing these events, but instead, I am staying mindful and carrying love in my heart. Last night I bought the best produce I could find, in quantities I could afford, and created the most gorgeous looking and tasting dishes within my capabilities. Everyone raved about the meal (a whole fish, polenta, a panzella salad and roast vegetables including beetroot, fennel, leek, Jerusalem artichoke, carrot, potato and parsnip). I considered the three gluten intolerant people at the table in the preparation of the meal. I greeted everyone with love despite having had a busy day, and I stayed calm and moved slowly and mindfully. My commitment to myself was to appreciate family members for who they are, welcome them with respect, and to not dismiss the truth - that I had put love and effort into helping them enjoy the night. I cut fresh flowers to put on the dinner table, I lit candles, and ensured that everyone was comfortable. I used my mother’s crockery. I could have been worried about pieces being broken, but I let go. Everyone admired the set, and said it was exquisite. I committed to a gracious evening, with delicious healthy food, good wine and filtered water. I chose not to drink wine because I like to do yoga in the early mornings, and a fuzzy head does not feel good the next day. I took good care of myself, and I allowed others to take good care of me.» read more
What I wanted
I am going to use some words that are not mine today. The words were written by a person who spent a morning in silence, unable to speak to the one she cared about. When she found her true self, she wrote: What I Wanted: You asked me what I wanted. What I wanted and should have done is this. When I first saw you I wanted to hug you and tell you I had missed you. I didn't because I was scared I would cry but at least they would have been tears shed from my heart. I wanted to tell you I was also scared to see you because we hadn't connected for so long and I felt so far away. When things went bad at the coffee shop, I wish I could have put my arm around you, smiled and said, let’s grab our coffee and get out of here. But instead I fled. Why is it that so often we don’t follow what our hearts say, and instead allow our fears and insecurities to stop us from showing our love for others. How do we know what we want? How can we step through our defenses and be with others in the way we want and need? This is the question I am with today.» read more
A reverence for life
Yesterday was the first anniversary of the death of a very special man who brought joy and love to many people’s lives. My children and I visited the cemetery last night to light a candle in his honor, and respect the part he played in our lives. He was a special uncle to the children, and continues to enhance the way they live, even now, as they remember him. While we lit a candle and laid some special flowers in the peaceful evening darkness, I wondered how John would want us to live. Rather than miss him and feel sad that I can no longer laugh with him, I decided to allow my knowledge of the way he lived his life to guide me. As I focused on this, I realised that he would have liked the way I behaved yesterday. I went out of my way to talk with old friends at the coffee shop, and I paid special attention to young people, who have so much to offer. I stayed calm when normally I might have become unsettled (such as this afternoon while teaching my son to drive) and I simply enjoyed the day. I did not worry about how I looked, or how I felt. I just focused on staying with my heart and joyfully connecting with people, with respect. In grief comes depth, and the depth I reached yesterday in my way of being was beautiful. I hope I can carry this reverence forward - a reverence for life, for people, for animals and for love. Today I urge you to be reverent. That is my intention for the start of this week. I have a deep reverence for life. Thank you John. I’ll drink to that :)» read more
The breath behind the heart
Today during a therapy session, I was discussing mindfulness with a client and decided that the best way to describe it was to demonstrate it - through a David Swenson YouTube link. I hope it helped my client as much as it helped me when I first saw it a few weeks ago. I discovered that mindfulness, rather than coming from the observing brain, is from the heart. The mindfulness experts out there will be surprised that I hadn't "got" this already, especially after having completed the Hakomi training and done 15 years of (very basic) yoga. But in retrospect, I have always observed myself from my head, rather than my body. Since my discovery about mindfulness and the body, my mindful self seems to come from the breath behind my heart, and it feels very peaceful when I am flowing from that space. As I write I can feel that space grow, and know that I will leave work tonight floating in this mindful glow. Which takes me back to my comment about the link. David Swenson, a true yogi, is shown on YouTube completing an amazing series of poses. But what impresses me about this video is not the asanas themselves (though I have to confess they are impressive) but his mindful preparation.» read more
A problem shared ...
Preface: Usually I don't link to other blogs, but this one is special because it's my goddaughter, and because it is about a problem shared. Her link is at http://gabriellademori.wordpress.com/2011/06/15/half-the-sky/.............. And here's my blog :) It was strange to have written about teamwork yesterday and today to have been confronted with my very own teamwork challenge, at yoga. I love going to my early morning classes (we meditate from 530 am and start the asanas around 6). I have grown very fond of my yoga teacher, Helen, whom I thought was “the” only early morning yoga teacher and worth her weight in glowing candles. The extent of required group activity at Helen’s class was a group "Om" at the start of the class and three group "Oms" at the end. That was enough interactive work for me. I like to have my own special space at yoga and experience my personal yoga rhythm. Having been away for a few days it was quite a challenge for me to arrive at the yoga studio on Monday to find that Zoe was teaching the class. Zoe starts the asanas at exactly 6am and has the lights on and doesn’t do the same routine as Helen, so Monday was very much a challenge for me. But today I decided to go to yoga with an open heart and choose an intention around acceptance. I began to quite like Zoe, who is studying physiotherapy and made some helpful adjustments to my poses. However, just as I was beginning to relax, we were asked to split into groups of three - at 630 in the morning. I was not ready for this.» read more
Communicate and be rewarded
I’ve been asked to write about how to work in a team, especially if you feel more like a lone ranger. It happens to many of us - we feel we know how to do it best, and that the contribution of others is not necessary, and possibly frustrating and counter-productive. But this goes against an important raison d’être of most human beings - to connect with others. Traditionally work teams are highly competitive and people can argue over the size of their offices or the relative scales of their panoramic views. That’s the world in which we live - it’s about business, busyness and importance. But we can feel so much better rewarded if we focus on personal connections rather than external measures of success.» read more
One step at a time
My dog Sam’s progress with his ruptured cruciate ligament is a good metaphor for psychological healing. As regular readers would know, Sam’s journey is consuming much of my time and attention. He is now at the point where he is able go for short walks, on a leash, and he is overjoyed at being on the streets again. If I take him too far he is likely to get tired, and needs to rest when he gets home. Sam is a very friendly dog who would explore forever if his body let him. At the moment he is limited to very short supervised walks. This is a little like psychological healing where clients need to test new found skills one step at a time, and set boundaries around recovery so as not to burn out or become disappointed. Like my yoga teacher tells me, life is all about listening to what the body needs - the mind has one idea but the body knows best if we just listen to it.» read more
Just Focus on Your Navel
This morning’s yoga was very difficult. Initially I thought my yoga teacher, Matt, must have recently visited a torture camp because he slowed us right down. Matt told us today that the downward dog was one of the most over-corrected poses in yoga. He said basically all we needed to do was to look at our navels (and I know there are a few puns in this). What a revelation. After having a little laugh to myself about how much more there was to downward dog, I realised that as I focused on really relaxing my head and looking at my navel, my legs seemed to stretch upwards, my sit bones reached a new height, and my armpits automatically turned to a position they’d never been before, even after 15 years of regular yoga. My hands were balanced and so were my feet. It felt wonderful. Matt was right - simply be in the moment and the rest will follow.» read more
ABC 720 on proposed Medicare cuts to Psychology
A psychologist and courageous client addressed problems associated with the Federal Government's plan to cut access to the Better Access Initiative on ABC 720 on Monday May 30. The discussion with Gillian O'Shaughnessy is part of a major campaign urging the Government to reverse its decision to cut the number of Medicare rebated sessions from 12-18 sessions to 6-10 sessions. You can hear the discussion at: http://blogs.abc.net.au/wa/2011/05/rebates-reduced-for-mental-health-services.html?site=perth&program=720_afternoons» read more